>>> Create a script <<<
Go up to your child and say something a bully would say. See what they do...
They said... nothing????
Your child might not say anything or might say the WRONG thing and feel or look foolish in the moment of confrontation. To combat this, start coming up with ideas of things they can say back immediately! If your child does not have PHYSICAL Self-Defense skills they will most likely remain SILENT out of fear of getting hurt.
We have evolved socially, our instincts have not. When you know that you are prepared for a PHYSICAL threat, things get easier. It makes me very sad to think that there are kids walking around fearful, constantly looking over their shoulder, and avoiding social situations because they are intimidated. This was me at one point, I refuse to allow this happen in our world.
FIVE response strategies
If your child is quick-witted...They are probably ok, but could jump from 1-5 accidentally.
If your child is a bit more timid...Make sure they have a script ready, and know the order.
A script for the principal
There will come a time when the child MUST bring in reinforcements. Our school system is fully aware of the bullying epidemic.
However; there is a problem with how children communicate the problem to their teacher's and administrator's.
How many times a day, do you think the principal hears, "He is calling me names!" Probably over 50 times a day. Then your child comes home gloating, and says, "But I told the principal." From this, the parent will get mad and complain that the school does nothing.
Here is the solution...CHANGE THE SCRIPT! Your child needs to "sell" to the principal a NEED for resolve. The administrator's and teacher's slowly become immune to blanket statements like the one above. Here is a better idea...
"____ (Insert name) is calling me names and bothering me every single day. I'm not coming to school again until it stops. It is torture being around him!"
This will send off ALARM SIGNALS to the teacher or principal. This is one of the first steps to creating a resolution.
Parent VS. Parent
" Hey listen ____ (insert name), your kid is a real jerk. What's his deal? He comes to school and picks on my kid everyday!"
How do you think this turns out??? This is our instinct when a bullying situation arises, but it is not an effective problem solving tactic. Try the above statement at your next business meeting and see how it goes down.
TRY THIS ---> " Hey how's it going. Can I talk to you really quick? I think our kids are having a problem with EACH OTHER at school. Kid's are crazy ( : ) smile), I want to see if we can figure out how they might be able to get along better. What do you think?"
This creates a solution to the problem in which the parents are teaming up. The targeted student's parent did not make any accusatory remarks. Sometimes the other parent (Bully parent) is COMPLETELY unaware. Dale Carnegie explains in his book "How To Win Friends & Influence People"... "If you want someone to do something, you have to get them to WANT to do it."
Create a solution, don't create more problems.
There are endless directions that you can go with creating "Verbal" Jiu-Jitsu strategy. Be creative, look at what's overlooked, DO NOT assume anything. Human's have a way of acquiring knowledge and then assuming that other people know what they know.
Eddie Fyvie - Bullied to Black Belt™